Live and in Living Color

I was watching Unsung on TV One. It is a show that features R&B artists from the past and what happened to them. It's one of my favorite shows and seeing the usual quality of television geared towards African Americans it's hitting it out of the park.

Stacy Lattisaw was the featured performer and I discovered that she opened for the Jacksons on the Victory Tour. She actually didnt want to do it WTH?! They showed pictures of her and Michael and her mom indicated that she would 'go in his room' to talk and what not. I was sooo hating....

I have been focusing on Mike and his live performances lately via you tube. I never had the opportunity to see Mike solo live in concert, but I did see him 3 times with his Brothers. I went to the Destiny, Victory and Triumph concerts. The odd thing is I don't remember any of them, lol I have ticket stubs and everything. I vaguely remember that at one it was outside and freezing, and I ended up in a tank top cause I got so hot. That had to be the Victory tour, lol

I also have the programs from these concerts. I do find it odd I can't remember them, even when I watch them on you tube. What's that about?

The live performances are sooo spectacular! OMG! I did like the Destiny Tour in London the best. Mike was so pure then, lol I have all of these performances on my iphone. I am focused on the Dangerous Tour now, lol I have the entire concert. It was a Gold Pants moment (we will speak on that in the very near future) but Mike had lost weight, was a bit sluggish and on certain parts just wasn't giving it to me. I need to find what concert was when he filled out the Gold Pants, lol

The Scrapbook

Soo at first this idea was not on my mind at all. I was more excited about developing my HS scrapbook. I had just completed my very first one which is dedicated to my BFF's and our adventures. Then one day I was on the train watching the 30th Anniversary and all of a sudden I just got moved by the notion of whether Mike's Brothers ever realized that show was the last time they performed professionally as a group. It led me to thinking about how it would be a labor of absolute love if I put together a memory book for myself and the project began.

To the right I have streaming my progress so far. It has been quite interesting because of the sheer volume of pictures and stories. What direction to go in, what exactly did I want to 'say' with this book, how freaking big would it be! Like most stories start at the beginning and just fill in the blanks.

I work based on feeling about the page. I just won't be able to get all of Mike and his siblings story in this book. I need to get the major things that make me smile - create a canvas to splatter my memories on. Filled with pictures and words that tell his story through my eyes. It's not to be critiqued for content - it's the content I want and/or need for it to have.

There are pages that I already have planned - but it's not time and won't be for awhile. I have obtained some great customized papers, stickers, banners etc. to add depth, variety and extra.

Due to the sheer volume of the project, when the spirit hits me, I have to do some prep work before I actually start the craft of 'booking' (me and my special language, lol) I outline the thought I have and choose the pictures from the hundreds I have or the net to flush out the image.

Tonite was a good night. I wanted to continue covering the younger years. Three to Five pages poured out of this mind of mines. Tomorrow - the vision will develop on paper.

Just Singing in the Background

Hello World! Yesterday was a good 'mikeing' day. I happened across several alledged 'Demos' by Mike of some of his more popular work as well as the entire History tour concert. Surprisingly I had never seen it. There are alot of things I haven't seen, heard or discovered which keeps this whole thing exciting for me. I uploaded alot to my phone, switching out stuff etc. I work the HELL out of this 8gs on the iphone!! Believe Dat!

That's not the topic of the day though, The images in the picture below are:



I HAVE NOT LIKED ONE SET OF MIKES BACKUP DANCERS AT ALL!! Well ok, the This Is It Crew kinda got me, but that's the only one.

This hypermasculine group of folks with all the belts, studs and mega weaves just have not been doing it for me. ESPECIALLY on any Jackson songs. Mike got background their names are Jackie, Jermaine, Tito, Marlon and Randy!! I sure wish he could have beat them into submission and paid them to go out on the road with him in some form or fashion. I just can't get into "Shake Your Body Down to the Ground" with these random dudes.

What Kinda Fan are You?

Hmm, I have been thinking about my own question and I guess my fan-atic leans towards the purity of youth. I want to remain in the space of when I was 12-16 and in love with Mike. That was a good space because it was wide open for fantasy. He was bringing and giving me all that I needed. I am a heavy daydreamer. I have been able to survive out here due to that very fact. There sometimes involves alot of negativity around a person who things of alternate situations, ideas, outcomes and memories - but for those that do that, it's a coping mechanism.

Mike HAD to be my boyfriend, I couldn't have one in real life (well not in the open). Mike HAD to be my family, even back then I saw it going slowly to the left. Mike HAD to be my comforter, wasn't to much of that going around.

It seems funny I know, but ask another fan and they will give you a totally different reason as to what their fan-atic looks like.

Mine is full of giggles, and gazing at pictures, and studying the movement of his body, and getting caught up in the hysteria that surrounds him. YET, I am Gemini - so I can balance the fake and real pretty well and slide back and forth between the two seamlessly. I see the man for who and what he was and how that manifested itself and love him in spite of.

I don't worship him, but I do fall at the altar of his Entertainment, lol I plant flowers, sing songs and ring bells, lol lol I twirl around in a world similar to Avatar let's start a world called MIKEATAR!

The thing I find is that the common thread between most of his fans is that he offered 'comfort'. Isn't that deep? Does that make us all have this 'missing link' in our lives?

I am interested after the visuals and media that went around after his death, if someone is going to really delve into that whole fan thing when it comes to him, because it was EXTRA and on some level SCARY seeing as we are a Diety believing people and responded in kind at his death....

Let's see if anyone does that shall we?

An Easter Mike

Mikeing.....

Mikeing /verb/ - the act of spending time enjoying the work, stories, pictures etc. of Michael Jackson. Yes I turned him into a verb, lol I have miked for most of my life in varying degrees of intensity. It got more intense, of course, after his passing. I now Mike as least once a day. Don't know why, but I just like it. With the advent of the internet, Mikeing can be a fabulous thing. I can spend HOURS just on Ebay looking at the 500+ pages of merchandising etc. Then there are the forums and websites and fan pages, add in Twitter and Facebook and you can have a full fledged addiction to all things Mike.

There is another layer of this that involves the music. I don't listen to the music everyday because it can be too much and I have other musical taste as well. What happened though is that I have had songs rise to the top as my favorites for all time. Songs that mean something to me for real. That are attached to some event in my life or some feeling. I might listen to them more frequently. A sub layer of this is videos. There are all kinds of videos out there. I personally carry 35 of them at all times on my iPhone, lol I look at them everyday when I ride the train to and from work. There are great fan tribute videos, remix videos and things that have come out of Mike in his personal time.

The final layer would be your personal items or projects that you work on. I spend time with my 'collection' which I consider to be eclectic and very personal. I get things that I identify with, so I just don't collect all things Mike. I also am not concerned with whether they are endorsed or if his estate is getting some portion of my money. I have donated to the estate of Michael Jackson in my days and thus he has my respect. If I see something I want then I want it. At some point I will showcase my stuff. I also scrapbook and am working on my memory book to him at this time. This book is all over the place because I go with feeling and being moved in the spirit about it. I also am working to not have it be a collection of pictures and definitive history that is cold etc. I want it to be from my point of view, the way I want to memoralize him and celebrate his life and his families lives to this point.

Now I have this blog. I have posts flowing like water and could probably write several a day at this point. This is a great outlet just to discuss the man and his family without fear of reprecussion or assignment of weirdness. I still hunt for someone in person, but until then this is great!

Why This Blog? Why Not?

I opened the mailbox and a smile immediately lit up my face. The package was here. Over the past 9 months, I have become intimately linked to the UPS, Fed/Ex and Mailman (no so much the mailman I hate him). I flew in the house and opened the package - Walah! A sealed set of Michael Jackson Gift Wrapping Paper. I didn't even know he had wrapping paper out. Apprently during the Bad era - they released this paper. I thought about how I would use one sheet for my scrapbook and put the rest back in the package for safe keeping. My very next thought was that I wanted to tell someone - except..there was no one to tell. Well there were plenty of people to tell, but noone to care, lol

I was in a peculiar place. I was an old negro fan that had no fanbase to communicate with. Folks have been MORE than giving and understanding throughout my whole life of my fascination of Michael Jackson and his Brothers/Family. I mean hell it's been almost 38 years of me adoring these folks. YET at some point this type of fanship wanes. Folks move on to adult hobbies and adult fascinations...I haven't.

Over the course of the past 9 months - I dusted off my fanship and put it back into my daily life. I mean alot of folks did just based on the circumstance. However, even that waned and now only the diehard fans are still communicating and keeping up and mostly via the internet. The whole way even the young people celebrate their fanship has changed. I am a relic of a time long gone.

AND I LOVE IT!! Fuck what cha heard - I'M LOVING what I'm doing! Yea there are times when I get a bit lonely in fan castle and there are times when I feel misunderstood, but ultimately I'm doing me and as much as folks throw that phrase around - are they really?

So as a grown man can walk around looking like this:


I can do my thang. However, outside of the discussion groups and my dear dear family and friends who take the time to listen to me, and indulge me - I wanted another outlet and so I blog. This might turn out to be something hot, if I get an actual readership, lol lol

This is not a fan page where there will be countless pictures posted, videos etc. etc. This will be a one person account of the journey they are taking in Fanville. I might spend a whole post talking about Jackie Jacksons fine ass, or I might want to talk about Mikes eyebrows - who knows.

This is where I will showcase my collection, my scrapbook, my thoughts, my opinions, my memories and all the things I talk about in my freaking head. I might make some new friends, I might lose some, lol lol But this is MY SPOT!

Allow Me To Introduce Myself...

My Name is Pam (excuse me while I bop to my Jay-Z impression) Ok, I'm back. Yes my name is Pam and I'ma Gemini. I think that's important because it will explain to those that know Gemini's etc. a whole lot. I am a colored woman that has 43 1/2 years under her belt. Some bad, mostly good. I can't even lie. I've led a life hand picked and protected by God. Even through the bad - I've always fallen on Goose Down Comforters. I thank Him Daily.

Currently I live in the South in that Glorious place called the A-T-L. I grew up here, so I knew it before it got all hip. I kinda liked it better back then.

I am what I like to call a creative mutt. I have all these spots in my DNA that causes me to express myself in lots of different ways. I like things and activities that make me have to think and feel.

I got on the 'Super Highway" in an 89 Jetta in like 1994, in a closet in my apartment that I used as my office. I have been on here ever since and enjoy tooling around in my big Gray Durango with the HEMI BABY! The Digital world is my home and I love how the decorations keeps changing.

I'm a Mom, I'm a wife, I'm a friend, I'm a daughter and all that jazz. Sometimes I'm even a Sister, Aunt and Sibling.

I'm a long term slave as well. Been working for the man for over 20 years now, which in the big scheme of things isn't too bad. Sometimes I trick myself into believing I'm an indentured servent, but nah I'ma Slave - pass the cotton bag.

I drink, curse and talk REALLY LOUD. I lost myself for several years, but in a stroke of luck and alot of old fashion hard work - I found myself!! I'm so glad I did. I like who I am and who I am becoming and all the rest - I'll deal with on a case by case basis, lol.

Believing I was a Drag Queen in a former life is not to far off the mark. Rupaul, Kimora Lee and Janet Jackson's DNA flow freely through my veins. I'm a 5'2 1/2, brown-eyed, weave wearing, wish I could tuck my gut - fabulous woman!

My very best friend is my hubby, who I met online 4 years ago. We roll like grits and butter - the nice smooth kind with just the right amount of melted cheese. My Crew is the "House of Muscato" b/k/a the MWC. The three of us take the world by storm! The world we create, drink, weave and live in on a constant basis.

I'm stuck in High School in my mind and take every opportunity to revisit it with my HS friends.

I am married to my iphone but have brief torrid affairs with the blackberry. My family chose MAC, but I'm PC for life!

I went to school and got a whole heap of degrees just to prove I could - I should have spent that money on a cruise, because that's how I live my life - just crusing along - stopping at different ports - collecting stuff for my scrapbooking and moving right along.

So there you have it - is this all of who I am? Nope but it's good enough to set the stage for this here Blog!